tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post1821104305970554719..comments2023-10-31T07:56:02.535-07:00Comments on The Wife of bold: The Jacob and Esau effect?The wife of boldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-32776555787924379382009-12-17T10:15:00.239-08:002009-12-17T10:15:00.239-08:00We have multiples and people are always asking us ...We have multiples and people are always asking us who is oldest. I too wonder about the birth order question - there are only minutes between ours so I guess we will see!Las Vegas UK Mumshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17923397035831513004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-15043498451991238122009-09-01T03:41:37.405-07:002009-09-01T03:41:37.405-07:00A very interesting post. I have actually asked tha...A very interesting post. I have actually asked that question myself about twins and now you point this out, it does seem completely ridiculous. Will not do it again!Hot Cross Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17052268534992433595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-78305940966256647622009-08-31T14:20:59.000-07:002009-08-31T14:20:59.000-07:00I hate it when parents tell the oldest that they h...I hate it when parents tell the oldest that they have to set a good example. I used to get that all the time. I try to never say it to S, although I do stress that B is a baby still and can't do all the rough and tumble stuff he does (although she gives it a good go!).Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10754562741952800845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-66366996219499748242009-08-29T09:04:40.276-07:002009-08-29T09:04:40.276-07:00Really interesting post. Of course birth order mak...Really interesting post. Of course birth order makes a difference. It would be interesting to see what would happen if you kept the birth order of twins a secret. Would you be tempted to label them in some other way? The shy one and the loud one, or the thinker and the doer, or the sporty one and the booky one?<br /><br />I think you're right that the effect is probably diluted in your family, because of the older siblings.<br /><br />When people ask you which is the older, start saying "does it matter?" and see how they react. It is good to challenge our adult desire to label children.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-33480164911060491002009-08-27T05:16:18.136-07:002009-08-27T05:16:18.136-07:00And don't get me started on the whole "Yo...And don't get me started on the whole "You don't want her to be an only child, do you?" thing!!!! There are psychological good and bad points to any position in a family be it eldest, middle, twin, the one who isn't the twin, only child, youngest, the only boy, the only girl, etc, etc. What matters is that each child is loved and nurtured for who they are.Working Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16243697047355131343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-22138309097971395882009-08-26T13:03:24.663-07:002009-08-26T13:03:24.663-07:00a really interesting post hun! my four fit that qu...a really interesting post hun! my four fit that quite well especialy 3year old who is rebelious and wants to do things better than 4year old. 22month old goes with the flow and pudding is the youngest and adored by everyone. I love interesting things like this to read, that why your blog is top dog!!! xxx<br /><br />(i'm a poet and i didn't know it lol!)and1moremeans5https://www.blogger.com/profile/05872366593739511282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-68618323860936687692009-08-26T07:59:25.016-07:002009-08-26T07:59:25.016-07:00Perfectly happy mum - Ahh thanks hun,, i completel...Perfectly happy mum - Ahh thanks hun,, i completely emathise with being left to be delt with later and i had to look out for my brother and sister too, such is the trauma of being the first born :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-68661323813071408182009-08-26T07:24:56.525-07:002009-08-26T07:24:56.525-07:00What a great post! I do believe that there is a na...What a great post! I do believe that there is a natural pecking order between siblings and I also agree that it is often influenced by the parents. It is almost natural to give more responsibilities to the older one for example, resulting in making him/her the boss. I was the eldest and I remember feeling really responsible for my younger sister all the time. It took ages for this feeling to fade. My sister was the trouble maker, the attention seeker and I was the quiet and geeky one in a corner. I was often told to wait until my sister was sorted before someone would pay attention and usually by that time my parents would be either to tired or busy elsewhere to pay me proper attention. I am just hoping that I won't replicate this... only time will tell though...Perfectly Happy Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12540802461861922439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-10907151210087776842009-08-25T15:10:16.232-07:002009-08-25T15:10:16.232-07:00MumsRock - Gald to be a source of enlightenment, i...MumsRock - Gald to be a source of enlightenment, i think my little Fi is going to be the over acheiving one too :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-55155665843818928722009-08-25T15:08:14.202-07:002009-08-25T15:08:14.202-07:00Tasha - interesting what you say about only childr...Tasha - interesting what you say about only children, my husbands one and i couldn't agree more. Hope your successful in avoiding the comparison issues with Eleanor x<br /><br />Chic Mama - Thanks for the comment, do your friends twins have siblings?<br /><br />Pippa - I'm the eldest too and i definitely relate to the traits as does Mia but your right i think you'll only be able to tell onve BB is a little older xThe wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-77411406962004727432009-08-25T13:59:36.823-07:002009-08-25T13:59:36.823-07:00Oops - I ask the 'which one was born first'...Oops - I ask the 'which one was born first' all the time...well when i meet people with twins! I'm also godmother to a twin girl (born second) and has spouted many (very badly concocted) theories on her and her sister's behaviours in relation to which was born first.<br />Will stop now - thanks for the enlightenment.<br />For the record i was the over-acheiving little sister in my family, so much to prove. And sadly still true!MumsRockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13131458002752229669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-79733557557380467522009-08-25T13:59:36.500-07:002009-08-25T13:59:36.500-07:00Me and Daddy are the eldest and that describes me ...Me and Daddy are the eldest and that describes me but not him. It does describe Top Ender too, but I think it is too young to see if it applies to Baby Boy!PippaDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15874707231134755321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-78531124080320885822009-08-25T13:15:35.076-07:002009-08-25T13:15:35.076-07:00Definitely agree with the older child. I'm the...Definitely agree with the older child. I'm the oldest of 3 and definitely felt that I was the "trial" child. Great post!Leadership Learninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17969626763450950102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-15629588843702578222009-08-25T12:50:36.800-07:002009-08-25T12:50:36.800-07:00Just lost my long comment but basically really enj...Just lost my long comment but basically really enjoyed your post and my children are all typical of their family placement. I know what you mean about the twin age thing. Friend has that problem with her twin girls, now age 10.Chic Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01803588856685163353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-58370250813183049392009-08-25T12:46:33.583-07:002009-08-25T12:46:33.583-07:00I do find birth order a fascinating subject. There...I do find birth order a fascinating subject. There's 12 years between me and my sister, so it's a little different, but some of it still comes across. My mum (much more so than my dad), still did the comparison thing, which I think is awful (though I imagine it's difficult not to). You know, 'Tasha didn't do that. Why do you?', 'Tasha loved maths, why don't you?' and so on and so on.<br /><br />Chris is the eldest of two. He can talk down to his brother, a bit, but his brother has a PhD and is a successful researcher in some chemistry field or other. Chris works with me - I set up the business and he joined in and for the most part I run it (though that's maybe more about my personality than his!).<br /><br />Out of other friends and relatives, I don't see the birth order thing always come across that much, to be honest, though all the only children I know are very successful, though have some issues with socialising (I count myself as a semi-only-child, as I was one for 12 years). <br /><br />I am determined to, at the very least, avoid the comparison issues when Eleanor comes along. But I think it may well be easier said than done.Coding Mamma (Tasha)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17374751246656722167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-75908437511347533362009-08-25T12:19:32.325-07:002009-08-25T12:19:32.325-07:00Platespinner - wow thanks for that perpective i am...Platespinner - wow thanks for that perpective i am ashamed to admit i do refer to mine as "the twins" form time to time, but that's mainly due to the baby brain i am still suffering from and so i always forget their names i call them every name but their own. :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-49732178407489569672009-08-25T12:15:46.372-07:002009-08-25T12:15:46.372-07:00Whistlejacket - thank you, i'm the oldest of t...Whistlejacket - thank you, i'm the oldest of three too and definately relate to the characteristics, i can't see myself what difference it makes to twins if parents withhold such information - it seems a little silly really but each to their own :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-22236493032617809162009-08-25T12:15:17.008-07:002009-08-25T12:15:17.008-07:00I'm a twin myself (and the younger twin) but w...I'm a twin myself (and the younger twin) but was stereotyped as the more 'dominant' one and also the 'bookish' one whilst my sister was the more 'outgoing' one. I think it had more impact on her in terms of her confidence in her academic ability. I think labelling of any kind is difficult to avoid but really not helpful. <br /><br />Im also a middle child with an older and younger sibling - definitely stuffed then!! <br /><br />My biggest peeve (still bugs me actually) was people referring to us as 'the girls' or 'the twins'. Gah!platespinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00437239539981757557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-85575644062171230882009-08-25T12:10:57.418-07:002009-08-25T12:10:57.418-07:00Thanks for an interesting read, I'm the oldest...Thanks for an interesting read, I'm the oldest of three and can see how my family would fit with the characteristics you list. It's probably too early to tell with my children as they're still little (3 and 1). I'm not sure if it does help twins if you tell them who's the oldest, probably depends on their personalities. I imagine when they're older they'd probably ask?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13917443753880382461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-47244265271034148002009-08-25T10:35:40.726-07:002009-08-25T10:35:40.726-07:00Insomniac mummy - Thanks, is interesting to see so...Insomniac mummy - Thanks, is interesting to see some poeple fit and some don't and i'm glad you wouldn't ask the question ha :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-27719055675269659262009-08-25T10:29:53.681-07:002009-08-25T10:29:53.681-07:00Mwa - i second that one :)
QueenBee - Lol, i work...Mwa - i second that one :)<br /><br />QueenBee - Lol, i work for MI5The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-82464785150463838162009-08-25T10:13:30.949-07:002009-08-25T10:13:30.949-07:00Silly as it sounds, it would never occur to me to ...Silly as it sounds, it would never occur to me to ask which twin was born first. I don't think minutes makes a difference :).<br /><br />I can understand the theory in siblings born further apart, although I cannot really see me and my brothers fitting into the roles described.<br /><br />Interesting post.<br /><br />:)Insomniac Mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12061757394358835889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-29062365688386824692009-08-25T10:12:34.854-07:002009-08-25T10:12:34.854-07:00Brits in Bosnia - Your right i always said i would...Brits in Bosnia - Your right i always said i wouldn't as i was the eldest child and constantly had to lead by example, but the reality is i can already see history repeating itself with Mia.<br /><br />Pineapple Tart - Ha, mine's the same i suppose they have to be with three others to contend with :)The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-83553681560170914292009-08-25T10:07:27.965-07:002009-08-25T10:07:27.965-07:00OMG...this is so my family. How did you know?OMG...this is so my family. How did you know?QueenBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460333532281245829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4259176668032174768.post-28125525505444580752009-08-25T10:01:06.893-07:002009-08-25T10:01:06.893-07:00I'm definitely an oldest child. I like to thin...I'm definitely an oldest child. I like to think I was encouraged.Mwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954216492730746581noreply@blogger.com