Friday, 9 October 2009

Tantrums and Tiara's

Getting out of bed in a morning has always been a struggle for me I'm more of a night owl and i hate chirpy morning risers they're sooo annoying, unfortunately i happen to be married to one. It's hard enough when you only have to get yourself up, washed, dressed and out the door by an ungodly hour but throw four screaming, defiant little minx's in the mix who like nothing better than pooing all over my kitchen floor, throwing their cereal at each other and spilling tooth paste down their clean, just ironed school uniform it's enough to make you go straight back to bed...if only.

Yesterday morning was an especially bad morning, Wednesdays always are, it's a mad rush to get Mia at the school gates for 8.50am, then Fi at nursery for 9am and make it to the twins playgroup for 9.30am. We managed to all get there in one piece just, but as i dropped Fi of at pre-school looking a little dishevelled i was informed the photographer was at the nursery today.

"OH SHIT" was my first thought as i glanced at Fi's felt tip covered hands from the night before, she even had a smudge of blue ink on her neck. I was told siblings were welcome to come along too after school and as i don't have a proper photo of all four of them together i agreed to come along with a fresh change of clothes later on. I figured it was only 9.30 and i had all day to get the twins looking normal and fish something suitable for the big two out of the explosion that is my ironing pile, i even had time to iron the clothes too so what was the problem?

Never, ever again! I left it until the last minute to search for fresh clean clothes for the girls, that in itself is a huge task in our house as i may have mentioned before I'm not the most domesticated wife on the block. After collecting Mia from school and plying them all with fruit shoots, bribery is a legitimate parenting method you know, we headed over to the nursery for our photo shoot. Now i don't know what i was expecting but to say it was the worst afternoon of my life would be an understatement.

Wrestling all four of them into their semi - clean looking clothes with an audience of aghast parents was bad enough but once they were in front of the lens the E Numbers kicked in and the twins refused to cooperate, instead withering around the white screening and screaming like wild Hyenas. As i tried to control them Sofia decided to wind them up resulting in me telling her off in a hushed stern tone, to which she shouted at me "No mummy No. you don't tell me what to do arghhh".

At this point i was ready to explode with rage and was the colour of a beetroot,Feeling all the other disapproving parent's eyes boring into the back of me i dragged Sofia off the mat and told her we were leaving straight away, she then proceeded to throw herself to the floor and commence a "Let's humiliate mummy some more Tantrum" that went on and on and on. I calmly told the photographer there was no point in continuing and the look of relief and silent sigh in his eyes said it all, we were his worst customers ever, fact and he wanted us out now. I used every strength of my being to stop the tears that were welling up from trickling down my cheeks, i knew if i started i wouldn't stop. Struggling to put Sofia's shoes on, the combination of my shaking hands and her kicking legs didn't help, i wanted the floor to swallow me up and i found myself wondering how on earth I'd ended up such a terrible mother with no control over my children. I felt ashamed of myself and my kids both at the same time and i left with my head looking as far down to the ground as possible and wishing i wasn't so fertile.

If only i had just the one child to devote myself to, spending every day instilling them with manners, morals, love, support, confidence and my undivided attention, hell even two kids would still be doable. But having four in three years has spread me a little thin and although I'm not my own version of the perfect parent i think i do pretty damn good most days, I'd like to see some of the disapproving parents that just had the one child with them take on four and manage any better. As much as i want my children to be Little House on the prairie clones, i realise they are their own person and i can't "control" them however badly i want too, so I've dusted myself down, dried my eyes and vowed to try and stay a little calmer and try my best. No ones perfect right?

12 comments:

  1. oh man I totally sympathise because I have been there soooooo often.
    I know it's hard but don't feel down on yourself. You are doing an AMAZING job! I was an only child for my first 5 years and I was still the crappiest behaved kid mum ever had, it just depends on the kids sometimes. And I Im speaking from a side of having 4 very strong willed kids of my own. I have seethed in anger and frustration with my head hanging low many times.

    apparently we are sposed to have better teenage years with these kind of kids because they stand up for their own beliefs and have not bottled up all there free spirit ( that's what i'm hanging onto anyway lol)

    xo

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  2. I don't supposed you noticed me and hubby struggling to control one toddler (baby was in a sling so she doesn't count) at the NW BMB meet up last week, while your girls behaved beautifully the whole time??? Sounds like a terrible afternoon, and you're right no one with just one babe would do any better than you do with four. I hate parents that say "oh yes,h he's so good,I hardly know I have him!" Then why did you bother at all?? What's the point of that then??

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  3. So they didn't behave. So what? And frankly, the photographer didn't sound very professional if he wasn't fit to photograph four little girls together. And believe me, the other parents weren't smirking - those looks were pure relief, that it was your turn to be the centre of attention....
    I hope you treated yourself to a big box of chocolates afterwards?

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  4. Been there and done that so many times. I am sure our children look at where they can cause the most shame and embarresment and then set to. You are doing a fab job.

    Anyway it would have been a pants photograph if the photographer could deal with four little girls. I have our school photos soon oh the joy!!

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  5. Love the title!

    Award for you at my place! well done!

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  6. As a parent of only one child, I do know how easy it is for me to devote my attention to only one, and even then I sometimes fail! I have immense admiration for mums who deal with two children, never mind four!

    I'm sure you are doing a fantastic job with your children and I am so in awe of what a good job you do do when I read your blog, you make me feel quite inadequate as I struggle with my one. Pat yourself on the back and take some snaps of them in the garden - much nicer than those posed pictures anyway!

    WM x

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  7. awww hunny what an awful experience for you, i know how you feel, those bloody parents who look on and judge have no clue what it is like to have 4little ones. Sometimes my 4 wake up on the wrong side of bed and it is the worst ever. You are a fab mum and in your own words nobody is perfect :) xxxx

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  8. Sounds like absolute hell. Live and learn, right?

    And just think, having them all so close together means in a few years you'll have a wonderful tribe of (more controllable) children and no more tantrums! Probably seems like a little way off sometimes.

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  9. You have a huge deal on your plate, so go easy on yourself. Photographs are a nightmare situation to begin with, and you have 4 small children.

    I'm sure that other mothers are looking at you with nothing but admiration. "How on earth does she manage?" would be my guess.

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  10. You just need to say "Photographs are, like soooo last century, mine prefer to do YouTube videos of interpretive dance". That'll shut 'em up...

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  11. Wow. Sounds exhausting. Also sounds as if you are doing a great job.

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  12. I never realised you had four! Four! Four!!! I feel like such a whimp when I read about you superwomen. How do you find time for anything else than washing clothes, cooking dinner, doing groceries...? I am completely swamped with caring for just one. I better shut up now.

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