Friday, 4 December 2009

Commenting etiquette???

I 've been flitting in and out of blog land lately, this time of year is so hectic what with Christmas presents to buy, trees to decorate and Christmas aside, i already have my hands completely full with the girls.

A recent post by Linda over at got your hands full called "ten reasons i don't comment on your blog" got me thinking though about my lack of commenting etiquette. I am the most disorganised person you are ever likely to come across and this extends to all aspects of my life from my friendships, children and my home. I am the person who never responds to RSVPS until the day before, posts invites the DAY I'm hosting an event, always sends belated birthday cards or just forgets completely it was your birthday and i have a stock pile of well intended thank you cards that i have never actually gotten around to writing!

Obviously i am most peoples worst nightmare but i like to think my friends find it quite endearing really, either that or they are so used to my lax approach to life that they just roll their eyes at me and accept I'm a complete flake. Blog land i fear is nowhere near as forgiving, but I'm afraid this lady's not for turning, I'm too set in my ways and as much as i have the best of intentions to "change" I'm like a dog destined to never learn new tricks.

I am ashamed to admit that i don't always reply to kind comments left on my blog posts. There I've said it, but this is not because i am not hugely grateful and chuffed to bits that someone has taken the time to acknowledge the dribble I've written (I smile every time i receive a comment, it's the best feeling ever),it's simply a shortage of time on my part. I always eventually return the favour and comment on the other persons blog or i acknowledge their comment, i hardly ever manage both. When i leave a comment on someone Else's blog i don't assume they will acknowledge it unless the post in question is a serious issue causing a debate and the blogger has already responded to every other comment. One of my favourite bloggers Maternal Tales is great at responding to every comment she receives and she always replies to my comments which i admit is lovely and so i find myself going back to check her comments but this is the only blog i return to check. Once I've left a comment that's it, there are not enough hours in the day to keep going back and forth commenting on commenting!


I have four small children which consume all my time, i don't make a living from my blog and i am in the process of starting a new business venture so my blog is purely escapist and a fun outlet for me. Yet lately the fun has been zapped out of this from the huge guilt i feel at my lack of blogging etiquette. I find myself avoiding writing a new post for fear of upsetting those last few lovely commenter's i have yet to respond to and worrying they'll be annoyed at me for ignoring them. Seriously just saying this out loud sounds absurd, so for anyone out there thoughtful enough to read or comment on my blog thank you and sorry for my laziness i assure you I'm very appreciative, It's just I'm useless and have no manners!

29 comments:

  1. I am so with you on this one. I feel terrible that I don't comment on my comments much of the time(particularly as I don't get many !) but there is just not enough hours in the day.

    And I do love getting them. It makes it all worthwhile somehow...

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  2. Geriatric mummy - thanks for the comment lol. If only i had a full time nanny, then i'd spend all day on my blog and google reader x

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  3. Do you know I'm not even sure we need to! I think bloging is supposed to be fun and not another chore, lying awake at night wondering if we've commented on a comment. Maybe a round up at the end thanking everyone?

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  4. Me too, I think people can get overly hung up about responding to comments etc. Not all comments need a response, and like you I am hugely forgetful and disorganised (I like to think its about being creative, but that's just my excuse.) I don't actually get upset whether people comment or not, or respond to my comments. I like to get them of course, but I'd much rather they wanted to comment, rather than felt they had to.

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  5. deerbaby - I like that idea, saves alot of time and worry!

    jUDE - Your so right about people co mmenting because they want too and not just because they feel guilty if they don't. I too blame my bomb site of a house on my creativity ha, great minds and all that..:)

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  6. This has been something on my mind a lot recently - I got obsessed with how many comments I was getting and when I recently wrote a post that took me ages to write (and could have slandered a certain charity) then got hardly no response (at first I hasten to add) I got really upset and started having a huge paddy! All's well that ends well, I'm glad to say, and blogging has once more become pleasurable instead of a chore.

    Sorry, digressed slightly! Is there such a thing as blogging etiquette? I think it's nice to reply to a comment but as I've learnt recently, people have a life to live and I'm sure you'll be forgiven for putting your 4 lovely children before your blog, lol !!

    CJ xx

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  7. Here here, obviously I love getting comments on my blog but do I really need to comment on each comment? I will only reply if the commenter has raised a question or a has recounted a personal experience. Likewise I don't expect my comments on other peoples blogs to be acknowledged, it all feels a bit too much like homework or writing thank you cards after Christmas. Plus I comment on a lot of blogs so I don't want to have to return to them all to see if they have said anything back.

    I am not saying that other people shouldn't reply to all comments but it's not my style and to be honest I don't want to do it, maybe I am getting the etiquette all wrong but are people really offended if I don't acknowledge them?

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  8. I totally agree. I didn't even realise that it was the done thing to comment on the comments till a few days ago. And sometimes, well, there's just nothing else to say...

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  9. it took me two years before i realised there might be such a thing as a commenting etiquette.

    i still don't know what it is.

    don't worry about it. blog because you like writing and your blog looks cool with the pin and wallpaper and all.

    (and do not respond to this comment)

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  10. I'm not bothered if anyone comments on my blog, I rarely comment on others unless I really love their post, I'm quiet at work or the baby is asleep unexpectedly early (right now it's quiet at work).
    I love people commenting on my blog & really make the effort to comment on comments but half the time I'm too busy or there's just nothing to say!
    Feel free not to reply to this, I never check to see if my comments have been commented on either so I won't know either way!

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  11. CJ - Thanks for your comment and your right it should be a pleasure never a chore. As for blogging etiquette i'm not sure there are any rules per se, if there are any then i'm obviously the last person to ask lol

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  12. Very Bored - Yep it's impossible to keep track of all your comments that yu've left on peoples blogs and i'm sure some people are offended by our lack of reply but i'm not one of them and we can't please everyone hey:)

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  13. Hearth-mther - ignrance is bliss x

    Grit - Your funny and thanks for the compliments on my blog background :)

    notsuchayummymummy - I can't think of anything to say now so i'll hop on over to your blog and leave a comment if i can think of something to say that is :)

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  14. it doesnt bother me either way if people do or dont comment on my comment. I rather like those ones that send you an email with the reply but have no idea how to instigate it in my own blog and can't be bothered going back to check the places ive commented. although i do make the effort to reply on my own blog

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  15. I wouldn't worry about it - we keep coming back and commenting because we love you! Each blogger has their own way of doing things, you don't comment on comments, you have way better things to be doing with your time. Just keep going with what you doing and make sure you enjoy it - shouldn't be a chore! xxx

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  16. As a new blogger, I totally agree that you shouldn't feel you have to comment on a comment, so to speak...since starting blogging 4 weeks ago I've had to put my novel on the back burner as I've not had time to get on with it plus work and look after everything else.... so let's all me sensible and only comment if you really feel like saying something! It's always nice to receive them, though!! And I do love hearing from my new blogging circle and having new followers whose blog I can read. It's compulsive, like chocolate!!!

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  17. i'm the same hun, its hard with 4kids i know, so don't worry about commenting i do a round up at the end of some posts because i've either been ill or just too dam busy. xxxxx

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  18. very bored house wife said exactly what I was thinking. I love getting comments but I don't feel I have to respond, I leave lots of comments and some bloggers always respond, some occassionally and some never.

    I really enjoy your blog. Blogger land is huge let the offended go find a blog circle where they feel more comfortable - each to their own but I rather like your style x

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  19. Ahh thanks so much for your lovely comments guys Emily and Kellogsville your too kind......i'm blushing now ha x x x xx x x x x

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  20. I read a post and comment but don't return again to that particular post to see if my comment has been commented on....although I do try to comment on a comment on my post as I too have recently discovered that this is blogging etiquette. Confused? No comment.

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  21. If I comment on a post, I don't always return to the post to see if my comment has been commented on. But if someone comments on my post I will comment on that comment as I too have just discovered this is blogging etiquette. Confused? no comment.

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  22. Think I just sent two comments by mistake..thats quite ironic, considering the post subject...I really am confused by this whole system...please don't approve all my garbage and accept my apologies for littering your page!!!!

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  23. I've only just started getting comments- I'm new to this blogging lark! I've been responding to all but that's becaue I was ridculously overexcited. Perhaps I should stop now and not be such a keen idiot.

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  24. Hello - I'm commenting here under a work name just to confuse things as you haven't got the name/URL thing on. But I just wanted to say as I have on BMB you have enough to bloody worry about without stressing over where and when you have left a comment - that post was to spark a conversation, that's all and not to make people feel bad in any, way, shape or form. It's easy for me sat at work to be blogging which I can actually do in work time as the mum of two 11-year-olds who are at school! With everything you achieve day in, day out who cares about commenting on blogs? I do like to see comments on my blog posts and to respond and part of this is because I've worked as a journalist for 20 years and never knew what any bugger thought of what I'd written. So that's why I like comments - partly for professional reasons and for personal reasons to feel appreciated! There's no way I could have done any of that when my girls were younger. Linda xx

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  25. I wouldn't worry about returning comments, there are only so many hours in the day (although the reason I am here is because you commented on mine!!). With four kids it is a wonder you have time to turn on the pc let alone do anything else! There's plenty of sites I comment on but never get anything in return, they are just a pleasure to read. Anyway, lovely to meet you!

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  26. Don't get too wound up about it. Blogland has a kind of ebb and flow about it,; people go quiet at Christmas (too busy) and Summer (away on holiday). We all have times we can't read everything or comment or reply to comments. I'm currently feeling very "out of it" because I've been so busy with work I've only managed to write a couple of posts and not read anyone else's. But I know this will change when I've more time. I won't abandon you for not commenting on my blog - I'm amazed you manage to keep up with the blogging you do with four girls and a florists to run!

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  27. Wow well that post certainly produced a lot of comments LOL. I'm like you I only comment if there if I have something to add, but I do read everything!! However I do absolutely love it when someone comments on my blog but as you say there just isn't enough time to comment on everything I read - I read a lot ! Don't worry - be happy - at least we are all reading your blog.

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  28. I agree! It seems like there are a lot of blogging etiquette rules cropping up lately (or I'm just becoming aware of them) and it kinda takes the fun out of it. Maybe my name gives me an excuse for not commenting on comments as I should?!

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