Monday, 16 April 2012

How do you solve a problem like Mia

My eldest is putting us through quite an ordeal of late, constant back chat, lack of respect, lack of enthusiasm for anything we do as a family, constantly bullying her younger sisters and just general torridness.
I fear i have created a monster, she's only seven for gods sake and is behaving like a sullen teenager, Sharpey has nothing on her.

Discipline, discipline, discipline i hear my dad's annoying voice reverberating through my head( I hate it when he's right) as i have flashbacks to my misspent youth, yes OK so I was quite the little madame back in the day, but its certainly come back to bite me on the arse - karma's such a bitch. Surely i wasn't that bad?

"you were worse" my mother cackles, she takes great pleasure in regaling me with tales of how i was nothing short of evil towards my younger sister and how I was the only eight year old on the planet who could sulk all the way around Disney world and complain Florida was boring.

Mr Bold reckons it's my lax approach that is causing the problems and not his inability to say NO to his darling first born ever, apparently i have no follow through.

"you need to have strict boundaries, take away all privileges" he booms "bloody hell Laura they do it with hardened criminals in jails for god sake and it works, so i'm telling you it will work here". sure he's right but what about when she  flutters her eyes at him and the crocodile tears start rolling? he'll fold like a cheap suit that's what and we'll be back to square one.

I seem to have gone off on a tangent but as i was saying I'm having trouble keeping my seven year old in check and I'm not sure if it's down to a lack of discipline and boundaries or bad genes?

I try and stay clam and talk her through my point of view but i eventually blow my top as the girl just doesn't know when to quit, then i feel awful for losing my temper and apologise until ten minutes later when she has another tantrum and the vicious cycle start all over again - it's exhausting.

So i have vowed to stick to Mr Bolds strict boundaries technique and I'm taking no more of her shit but i fear history is repeating itself and if she's anything like i was as a teenager we are in for a bumpy ride. They say there is safety in numbers so I'm going to join forces with Mr Bold and hopefully we can present a united front.......it's times like these i wish we'd settled on just having a dog.

4 comments:

  1. I can't say what you should or should not do in your house, but let her know who is the parent and then follow through with taking things and keeping them for about 2 weeks or more. The batting eyes and crocodile tears are useless because she knows how to play upon it. Stand your ground. Just think about if this rolls into the teen years. Ugh!! If all else fails, send her to my house for about a week, she'll be a new person when I send her back.

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  2. Your right and i think the problem is more to do with a lack of consistancy really, i take away things but give them back after a few days for an easy life, only i'm setting myself up for harder days to come once she reaches her tennage years. Wow please would you take her haha, you should start your own Bratcamp ;)

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  3. Well first off congratulations for being honest. It's so EASY to look at other people's kids and see EXACTLY what's wrong with them. I have an eight year old girl and your point about joining forces with Mr Bold is a biggie. Kids will try to divide and rule as you know.

    I honestly think that children prefer a parent who imposes boundaries than those hippy dippy 'ooh I'm friends with my child' types. You need to be able to say 'no' because the world will and they have to be able to deal with it. The other thing I found helps is consequences. I know that sounds really prissy but you give a warning (calmly - yes I know it's hard) and then say: 'If you speak to me like that again I will take away the Nintendo/tv/dvd/ for a week.' And then you stick to it.

    My teen son came home pissed as a newt twice so his dad and I grounded him for two weeks. He reacted as though we'd suggested he drop his trousers in the high street and bend over. The outrage! I hate you! You're so unfair! We didn't give in. It was really unpleasant for two days and then he accepted it.

    Good luck.x

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  4. oh Jane i'm dreading her hitting her teens but your right i need to stick to my guns, thanks for your great advice x

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