Tuesday, 18 August 2009

It's Negative.....


Yes Today i have taken a pregnancy test! I have been feeling rather sh$*y since Sunday, banging headaches, dizzy, stomach cramps, nausea, every single symptom which would indicate I'm pregnant other than sore boobs. The result is hardly surprising considering i have only just finished my period three days ago and well Mr Bold and I haven't exactly been getting "jiggy" with it of late -huh the chance would be a fine thing. I just wanted to rule out the possibility as i am understandably a little paranoid after having four kids in the space of 3 years and 3months! I opted for the 99p test i found in Home and Bargains as i didn't see the point in wasting money and well they had been shockingly accurate two years ago when i decided to rule out pregnancy on a whim then too!

I have breathed a huge sigh of relief, I'm not sure what i was expecting to feel since the majority of the times i have actually taken a test they're usually positive and i have always been pleased but this one was different. I finally think i am ready to stop pro creating, i didn't feel sad at all which is strange considering i still secretly pine for a SON, and now all that remains for me to do is get Mr Bold to have the dreaded "snip". He has been dodging this one since the twins were born, he too longs for a son one day but i could go on forever popping out girls and i think four is more than enough to be going on with. I love my girls unbelievably and i honestly think another sibling(brother or not) is the LAST thing they need right now, i am torn in enough directions at the moment and they all want a piece of me. I just don't think i could competently divide myself amongst more than four - i struggle now. So as i mourn the son i will never have i count my lucky stars for my four amazingly beautiful, intelligent, healthy funny girls, they are truly all i need and i am enjoying reclaiming a tiny piece of me back that has been lost to motherhood for five whole years - i realise now more than i ever have, it really doesn't last forever - in another five years it will all be over and my girls will be little lady's in the making, now is the time to Basque in the present.

19 comments:

  1. Glad you got the result you wanted.

    :)

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  2. I echo that emotion, I'm glad it turned out the 'right' way.

    One way to mess with your head though!

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  3. Would it be completely innappropriate for me to say 'thank fuck for that'? Sorry, don't often swear (online that is) - offline all the time...It's just that oooh 5 would be rather a lot (people do it I know - my Mother was one os seven), but I feel that you need some 'you' time for a while (yeah right - how is that ever possible with 4 anyway)?? But you know what I mean. But having said all of that, if you seriously are pining somewhere inside, then don't get hubby to have the snip...you may change your mind in a couple of years and it would be more than sad if you couldn't have any...

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  4. Glad the results were negative. Geez. My parents kept trying for a son, and they, too, popped out 4 girls. My aunt want a daughter, popped out 7 (yes seven) boys...then a girl. Kids are great to have but I declare as they start growing up, we can leave the baby drama to someone else.

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  5. Hello,
    I concur with Maternal Tales, 'thank .......' for that.
    I had a scare and took a test, although NOT in the last 4 years, back when I was married.
    Big head messer upper!
    x jo

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  6. You're making me cry. I know that this is a hard choice for you and your other half and I understand where you are coming from but do the don't do anything on it for a bit and then see how I feel thing will you? Pips xx

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  7. Just wait till your fourth starts school... You will look back and think 'huh? what happened? did I blink and miss it?'

    I think it is good to acknowledge unfulfilled hopes and mourn them, and I admire your honesty re wanting a son. Your chances of having a grandson are quite high, with 4 children. Does that help just a little?

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  8. Sounds like a relief for you - what's been making you feel sh$*ty then? (the four existing ones?!). I agree with the comments already, if you feel you might just want one more when your girls are more grown up then don't allow hubby to do anything rash!

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  9. Insomniac mummy - Thank you :)

    Suprised and excited - it defo was "right" although my head is still hurting a tad:)

    Maternal Tales - LOL you go ahead it's EXACTLY what i was thinking! Can't believe your mum was one of 7, i think i'll deliberate a little longer on the snip issue then. x

    QueenBee - OMG i don't think i could justify having another 3 girls even if there was a promise of a boy at no8 - now that's insane :)

    Lulu's missives - Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments, my head is definitely a little mushy right now. I did try to stop by at yours but i need an invite first - so if you'll have me i'd love your secret password :)

    PippaD - Sorry to make you squirt, i think i will definitely have a long "see how i feel" period before we make any big decisions for now any ways x x

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  10. I used to spend a fortune on pregnancy tests when husband was around.Glad your pleased. Don't make any big decisions lightly though- they grow up so quickly & You may regret not having one last go...LOL. I have five really, just trying to stay slightly anonymous as it would really stick out. I love it! Always wanted five but probably would have kept going.

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  11. Iota - Your spot on as always and i didn't even think about that one -i do have a really good chance of getting a grandson, every cloud :)

    Whistlejacket - Ha it could well be - that and the summer holidays would make any mum felel a little nausious :)

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  12. Chic Mama - Your right i will definitely wait a little longer before the big "chop" , and thanks for your ommision too - how the hell do you do it? Seriously my main "con" at the moment is the logistics of getting more than four into a mummy bus, if i had another one i would need a bloody van and also there is the fear of getting caught with "twins " again - now that is just my luck! x

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  13. Imagine that - another set of twin girls. Glad the result was as you wanted it.

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  14. Mwa - I know imagine but stranger things have happend right?

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  15. WofB,
    I need an email address for you for your invite.
    jo

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  16. Hi Jo,

    ohh i love all this cloak and dagger stuff! My email is:
    wifeofbold@yahoo.co.uk, can't wait!

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  17. wow just found this post in my reader! imagine another girl arrghhhh lol! i would LOVE a boy i am so broody lol! will share with you soon xxxx

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  18. I know a family who kept trying for a boy and got five girls. They have had to organise and pay for five huge weddings (each with at least four bridesmaids!). They now have male grandchildren. Maybe you could just wait for the grandkids?

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